New that won't leave my mind.

As I write this I am drowning in a sea of thoughts that are running through my mind.

I went to the doctor today & he found lumps in my breast, he thinks it might be cancer, so I have to watch it for a while to make sure it doesn't grow. I am scared of what the future brings me.
I feel like no one can help me through this, & its killing me inside. What will it take for someone to just understand I can't take much more of this!

Why is God punishing me! Why? Does anyone know because I don't, This is why I don't believe. I might go to hell for all I done but I don't deserve this!!

I have a family. A child, I am getting married & someone always has to shit on my parade.

& not one person in my life understands what I am thinking right now.

That scary feeling.

When you don't feel safe you get that scary feeling something bad is going to happen to you. Well tonight on march 20th, at 230 am someone tried to break in our apartment. You talk about panic and the feelings of them going to get in was so frightening!

My dogs are smart little wiener dogs, who know who is or isn't welcome in the house. If they even hear the little noise that they don't like they will bark and wake us up. I am so glad I have them two now because if not, that person wouldn't had gotten scared away.

I'm not popular but I am happy I am not.

I know I am not popular in this town I live in, but honestly who cares. That's less people I have to deal with in life. I honestly hate popularity, people judge you if you don't have more than 5 real good friends, LIKE REALLY! Most the friends that popular people have are FAKE or not even a true friend! Why would anyone want to deal with that? No one! but people are desperate for attention.

I am happy with the friends I have in my life, they don't start anything & they aren't fake! They support me through everything, I bet you if I was popular I would have more drama than the Kardashians!

And people won't talk to me now cause I am not popular like why? do unpopular people have a disease I don't   know of?? I would love to know how you "popular people" don't have it.

Rant of the day. [:

ENJOY

House cleaning/ Photographer

As many of you know I work two small jobs. I'm a house cleaner and a photographer.

In house cleaning I clean properties and rich people houses who are better off than I am. Properties are the worse! I am doing on today and it's hell! My fingers are turning purple and pruning from the water my hands are touching constantly! I'd rather be cleaning a house than a property. And when I say I am cleaning people's shit I am literally cleaning their shit!

I own my own photography business called Everlasting Photography! I been doing photography since 2010 & I love it. I do a lot with that. I am hoping to build this business up so I can only do that for my career. But that will take time.

Between these two businesses I am exhausted during the day. My moms cleaning business is building which means more properties and more houses during the week. & booking with photography is starting to boom! I am glad I can work a simple job. But if they don't build I will have to face the real world and find a hourly paying job.

Introduction of Me

Hi my name is Hollee, I am nineteen & I had my first child at 15. Lovely yes I know but it is the best thing that has happened to me. I am getting married in July of 2012 & I am marrying my best friend who has been there for me through everything.

My life started rough but evenutally it got better when I met Jeffrey. My parents are divorced & most my friends ran off after they found out I was pregnant. Many people thought I was the girl with everything handed to her in life. NO you were wrong. I was the girl who was pushed around in school, got called ugly, was tortured by everyone in middle school. Boys would ask me out and turn on me just to make a joke out of it.

Now. I am a pretty decent young woman getting married to this amazing guy that I am so glad I waited all my life for. I hope everyone I went to school with is ready because your about to read this blog everyday about my life stories.